Back in Montreal

So I've been back for a week now.
I am happy to be back. Most happy about being back with my family and my friends.
I do feel a little disappointed that I didn't have the adventure I dreamed about and that I only made it four months, but oh well, life goes on.
Now I just have to figure out what I want to do with my life career-wise...
I think I would make a good high school English teacher.
I also have the goal in mind of becoming a yoga instructor.
As soon as I pay off my debts, that will be the next thing I will focus on.
Hopefully I can teach English and teach yoga, woot woot!
I still want to travel so I'm not giving up on that either.

La Musica

I'm going to attempt to put together a list of all the shows/bands/singers I've seen.
I am pretty bored and it will give me something to do. It's raining and I've already spent two hours cleaning the cottage.

Alright, only in order as they come into my head:

-Backstreet Boys (first show, grade 5 or 6)
-John Michael Montgomery (actually this was the first show, went with my granny and aunt to the outdoor concert in the States when I was little)

Incubus
Green Day (x2)
Evanescence
Coheed and Cambria
Death Cab for Cutie (x2)
Our Lady Peace (x3)
M.I.A. (x2)
Eminem
Bright Eyes
A Perfect Circle
Blink 182 (x2)
U2 (360 tour)
Lupe Fiasco
Janelle Monae
The Mountain Goats
The Joy Formidable
Freshly Ground
Sarah Slean (x2)
Jorane
Ani Difranco
Miss Tiffany :)
The Airborne Toxic Event
The Flaming Lips
Hedley
Long Beach Dub All Stars
Serial Joe (hahah)
Moist
The Tragically Hip
Kings of Leon
City and Colour
Mother Mother
Sam Roberts
Ted, Leo and the Pharmacists




Comedy:
John Leguizamo
Dane Cook

Tales from a Booty Call

Your body satisfied my physical desires
Even sleeping next to you
Watching the rise and fall of your back
Gave me thrills
All width and stability
I went to sleep smiling
That was Wednesday night
It is no longer Wednesday and I
Am no longer smiling
I am feeling really disappointed
I am more than a physical body
I am also a mind and a spirit
And while this monkey mind will do it's thing
Think it's thoughts
Play it's games
My spirit is so much bigger than that
It is bright and shining
And loving
It loves beyond measure and judgement
It loves just for the sake of loving
It is the part of me I am most proud of
The very same part I don't think that you see
This bothers me

But wait, let me turn this inward
What am I really interested in?
Why when I know the brightest spirit
Do I like to roll around in the muck
Go for the very ones I am doubtful of
Spirits that know only of a sheltered life
Behind the ego
Is it my ego that responds?
What does that say about me?
Love is about openess
Love is about freedom
So why can't I love the one I want to love?
Is it my mind or my spirit in the way?

Rough Plan for the next 3-4 Years of my Life (of course open to change and not fixed)

So I am leaving for Australia for one year as of Sept. 4 2011.
There I will get to know Australia, substitute teach, travel (hopefully the majority of Australia, New Zealand, and Bali), maybe get a teaching contract for a few months, and hopefully work on a farm/orchard/vineyard anywhere for a few weeks to a month or two.
At the end of my time in Australia I will return to Montreal. Here I will resume substitute teaching, maybe take a short-term teaching contract if one is offered and I will get my TESL certificate (Teaching English as a Second Language). It's five courses I believe (3 online and 2 at McGill) that will allow me to teach English abroad all over. Once I have that, I will be off again. It's not definite which countries I will go to but right now Spain and Japan are on the list.
In Spain I will teach English, learn Spanish and see the majority of Europe on vacations and weekends.
In Japan I will teach English, practice Zen, and make a lot of money which I will use to pay off the rest of my student loans and to save towards either more traveling, a house, a car, a family, or to open my own shop in Montreal or perhaps somewhere else.
And that is what I have so far and I am feeling great about it! :)

Australia

I should be there by September 10, 2011, probably a little earlier than that.
I hope I still feel open like I do now. It'll be a long-ass plane ride if I don't make friends and a loooong year. For some reason I feel confident that everything is going to work out and that I am doing the right thing. It's great not to be overwhelmed by doubts and fear that I often am before anything big.
So I'm going to be subbing in Australia and traveling around for a year. I will be visiting Bali of course. That is a definite must do for me. I will go alone if I need to. Look at me all prepared to travel to foreign countries on my own. I never would of thought I had it in me. I'm proud of myself and I hope that I learn a lot. This is going to be good for me.

So I am in the midst of applying to teach abroad.
It's kind of exciting and scary at the same time.
I think now is the time to do it, whether or not I can find a teaching abroad buddy. If I go on my own it might force me to improve upon my social skills. Not that they are bad, but I am not always so good at meeting new people on my own. This time it might be in a whole new country with a whole new bunch of people.
I got butterflies. I feel like it's the right time and the right thing to do. Hopefully I am choosing the right place. :)

First night so far that feels like summer.
<3<3<3

I'm getting real excited for the cruise now. One week away exactly. :)AND we only have 5 days of Insanity yet. I might actually be more excited about that than the cruise. hahah
Laurie and I went to Mount Royal today and I got a little bit of color in my face. yay! It's starting to feel like summer. <3

One more month...


So I've been getting more work which is a good thing. I'm still single which is another good thing. I'm getting over my cold which is a third good thing.
I have a meeting at the bank today so we'll see how that goes. This evening I am babysitting.

I've never gone so long without a goal or a sense of purpose. I can't explain the way I feel but it's kind of like a void. I've always had goals and a strong sense of purpose and lately I just feel dull and like I'm waiting for something. Waiting and waiting.

My ex, who cheated on me with my best friend, had the balls to text me this morning AGAIN. I've heard that he has a gf, not that I care, but that's pretty stupid to still be texting me little love messages. I was telling someone how crazy I think it is a few weeks ago when he texted me the first time and my friend made a good point that I can't expect a crazy person to act rationally. Crazy is as crazy does. *sigh*

Oh right, the cruise is in a little less than one month tho so WOOOO HOOOO!
It'll be a good week!

Getting my Glow on

(If I were a def jam poet, this is what I would say tonight)

Take your words and your ways
Take them far away
Get your claws outta my skin
It's time for me to begin
Anew
Without you, or you, or you
I've had enough
Been listening and listening
For six long years
I've got blood
Red in my ears

Been so long since I've been
Free
Taking the time to get to know
Me
And this girl, she's
Wicked cool
She doesn't need
You (or you, or you)
To make her feel
Good
To knock her down
When you're feeling
Bad
No, she's better than that

She likes poetry
She's in love with words
She likes Montreal summers
And being a teacher
She likes drinking on terasses
And chilling with friends
She's into traveling
And continually learning
She has an old soul
And some wisdom at heart

This girl's finally realizing
That love
Well it comes from
Within
And she won't let people
Make her feel so shitty
Again

I've been with men who try to eat at my self-esteem and self-confidence when they are upset.
I don't need that and I don't need them.
:)
Here's to the present.